Sunday, October 4, 2009

Where did the summer go?

Hi, it is Eila - finally getting around to pop in to say hello. It seems to be that I posted as we were just starting to see a summer I truly believed would never get here. It did, and it was good in so many ways, and not so good in a few others.

It has been such a long time ~ I am thinking that you might want to pour a cup a coffee, and settle in. I will try to keep it short.

In early June, my mom called and said they had found a tumor in her kidney. She did not know the size, or what would be done. About a week later, it was decided that they needed to remove her kidney. It was cancer. She was very afraid... and rightfully so. She is 77 years old, and not in the greatest health anyway - and she was worried that the other one might fail. We did remind her that she has 6 children, all which would give her one if she needed it... should have gone without saying.

Surgery was scheduled for the end of June. It had been decided, since one sister lives there, and another travels there frequently... the rest of us would hang back and come one at a time, as needed to help with her aftercare - when she got out of the hospital. She lives with her cousin, and again - one sis is always there... but we needed to take some of the pressure off them. I was put in a holding pattern for the month of July. She came through the surgery well ~ the cancer was the type which confines itself to the organ it is in - so Chemo and radiation would not be needed. After a few days, they moved her to a nursing home for "after care" - which is where the real fun started. It took over 24 hours for her meds to get there. Then, she started having a really bad cough, The care (and I use that term very loosely) providers at the NH gave her Benadryl to help her sleep, because they couldn't get the Doctor (again a term I used loosely) to check in on her. Guess he was just too busy to be bothered. My sister finally took matters into her own hands, and took her to the emergency room at the hospital. They readmitted her with pneumonia. I am not an expert, but I think the term "after care" was anything but.

After 3 weeks in the hospital, mom went home. I made my reservations, and went to Kansas City. It was a very long 10 days. My heart broke into a million pieces when I saw Mom the first time. The stress of the situation had really taken its toll. She did not look at all like my mother. She was ashen and hollow (the best way to describe it). I got a place close by (as I knew I would need down time). Her cousin was there in the evening... and I spent every day with her. Each day she was a little better. Her physical therapist came every other day, and was pleased with how much she was improving each day after I arrived. My mother and I have always been close, although some days she makes me crazy. I am the one child that will tell it like it is. She has started to get cranky as she has aged... and far less tolerant of people, including her grand children. She used to tell me what a witch her great grandmother was. One day when she was speaking negatively about one of my nieces...I posed a question to her. Here is the basic conversation...

"Mom, do you remember Babo?"

"Yes, she was a witch - she was always so mean to me"

"OK Mom, now ask yourself this... Is that how YOU want to be remembered by your grand children?"

ith that, I left the room. And I could tell after I came back... that she was truly thinking about it. Later I noticed a true softening in her approach. I guess that is what I mean by me telling it like it is. She has a beautiful spirit, and I think sometimes she just forgets to put that at the forefront. She just got jaded at some point. I can see how that can happen. Kansas City is a horrible city, but then in my book, they all are. So many people, so much crime - sirens all day and all night. I was definitely a fish out of water. Mixed feelings all the way around about that trip. I did get to eat at Olive Garden TWICE (LOL). The nearest Olive Garden is about an 8 hour drive away, so needless to say, it is a treat to go there. I also spent time with 2 of my sisters, and was able to meet a friend I have not seen for 20 years for lunch (one Olive Garden experience). As I said mixed bag - happy and sad. It was too much time in the city, yet not enough time to see the people I wanted to. I cannot believe I spent such a large part of my life there. I am pretty sure I could not survive city life full time.

August 9th, I was more than ready to head home. It was 105 degrees and muggy in KC that day. Do you ever wish you could make a day in history just plain Go AWAY. I think it would be wonderful if you could go back in history an erase a day... and the terrible things that happened on that day would have never happened. August 9, 2009 would be just such a day.

I called hubby from the airport shortly before boarding. He was busy, and would be out the rest of the day. I was not looking forward to the flight. Storms were predicted in Minnesota. Deep breath... flight was bumpy. Safe take off - and landing - YAY. I did not call hubby from Minneapolis when I landed. I knew he would not be there. In hind sight, I am glad I didn't. Usually I would, just to say I was safe, and that I couldn't wait to get home.

The flight was great from Minnesota to Montana. We even got in early. (a half hour). No hubby... hmmmm. OK. I decided to call his cell to see if he was close. It was almost midnight - 1 AM - KC time. There was a message on the cell. It was him saying he needed to talk to me. He had left it shortly after I had left KC. OK, so panic. Had something happened to Mom. I guess I had to wait. He got there shortly after that. I asked him what was up. and he said "Cindy died today". OK so it took a minute to process. Cindy - vibrant - 52 years old - and the one real friend in the Swan Valley. She just collapsed and dies in her office. We spent hours in that office talking when I would go to the Mercantile. I had been her fill in girl for 3 years when they were short handed. And we shared Photoshop from the first day we met. We met the day she showed us the house we now live in. You see... she is also the local Real Estate agent. She was so many things in this valley - her greatest gift was that of "Friend". There are days I am still in shock and denial.

Her husband called me the next day and asked me to do a slide show for her post service celebration. Here they throw a major event to celebrate the life of one who has left us. It was a long week, of crying, scanning, and trying to heal. One thing about creating memorial slide shows - it is a healing process. I have never seen anything like the Mass. The church was FULL... the lobby was FULL... and the outside was FULL. Parking was spread down the highway for at least a mile. We lost someone who was so well loved. And I miss her everyday!!!

Her husband also recruited me to take over the ads and flyers for the real Estate business. So that is where I am now. I am also photographing some of the properties. The photos below are from a piece of property that is currently listed. If you have a spare 1.5 Mil - it could be yours. 1800 FT of river front. 18 Acres.

and so... now Fall is upon us... we are splitting and stacking wood... even tho we have a fullout TON!. Trees keep dying and falling. I will try to get back sooner and tell a little story about a fire we had on the property... must take photos first, and besides I believe I have taken up enough of your precious time. I apologize again for my absent behavior. I will try to do better. I miss my blog hopping - going to have to try that again...

until we meet again

Have a great day!!!!

Eila (the missing blogger)


Rosa's Yummy Yums said...

I'm so happy to read you again!

What sad events. Sorry to hear about your friend's passing away. I hope your mother will get better soon.

Those pictures are splendid! Montana is such a beautiful place. I'd love to go there in fall.


Rosa xoxo

Anne of Alamo said...

oh my Montana friend!
I cried thru your post, and then giggled and then cried. Wow...I love the relationship you have with your mom, and a firmness I bet you don't even realize you have.
I can't imagine your heart, brain, emotions with losing such a friend. I am glad that she was loved by others such as yourself!
Looking at those pictures are beautiful, and I would love to buy that land, even if it were ugly, to have a neighbor like you!
welcome back to blogging, you have been missed...

nancy said...

It's been nice hearing from you my friend. I am truly sorry about what you'd gone through. My prayer will be with you. Ilove the land photos. If I were rich, I will buy it. Apparently I'm not.LOL! Glad things will pick up when the weather gets cooler. Take care and hope to hear from you soon.>>j<< Nancy

txbubbles said...

I am so happy to see you blogging again, I have missed you so much! What a shock your dear friend's passing must have been, especially coming right on the heels of the stress of caring for your mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Big Texas hugs,

Crops said...

Hello lost blogger...yeah its been awhile since we last chatted...I think a whole 6 hours have Just stopped to see what ya had to say, I hate missing And one can never be sick of looking at your photos! As I said before they are GORGEOUS!!! ok, back to whackin strangers...later dude!!!

Hummie said...

Those are some BEAUTIFUL photos! You need a new blog post for the winter now!

nancy said...

Hello Eila, Its been a long since you had post., I hope I don't have to get my shovel and dig you out. Hope things are doing okay. Happy belated New Year..♥Nancy♥